Dunbar, WI - Population: Sucks

My brother recently went away to college to a tiny private school in an equally tiny town in the tiny enough state of WI, or as I like to call it, "WHY?!" After asking several of my friends who grew up in Wisconsin if they had ever heard of the town and receiving one too many puzzled looks and awkward silences, I became increasingly curious and decided to do a bit of my own research.

A quick Google search led me to a Wikipedia page (Dunbar, WI) shorter than that of my great-great-great-great-grandfather's (seriously: Samuel Kier), citing a total population of 1,303 people, with 97.62% of those being white. To make these statistics even more hilarious, may I please take you back in time approximately 2 months, to a conversation I had with my brother over winter break.
Me: "Why the fuck are you moving to Wisconsin?"
James: "Megan, you should really open up your mind and consider getting out of California. I mean, there is so much more out there to explore, you're limiting yourself by staying close to home."
(Because, you know, San Francisco is such a homogenous, provincial place to live.)

Please join me in a BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

Yes, as much as I love my brother and totally want to believe in his sanity, at that moment I felt like cracking his skull open and making sure his brain hadn't relocated a bit earlier than the rest of his body. Instead, I simply noted the fact that I had indeed been out of California, planned on doing it again in the future, and for the time being will be residing in arguably the most diverse, spirited area in the country besides NYC.

Okay, okay, back to Dumb- I mean Dunbar. Wikipedia is notorious for its unreliability, so I decided to utilize some other Google search options. But both my subsequent Maps and Images searches were equally unnerving:

What is that, a total of FIVE roads?! "Yeah, we built 1st and 2nd street and then winter came and we said screw it and got the hell out of there."

Okay, so at this point I'm thinking... did my brother join a cult in the wilderness? Is he hiding dead bodies for a living? Just what the HELL is going on in these 5 streets?
The answer to my question came in yet another google search, this time for his so-called university, ironically titled "Northland International University". Yes, if by "international" you mean "in-the middle of fucking nowhere-ternational".

While I do appreciate their efforts towards housing a diverse student population (They have a total of 7 asian students according to the home page!!) and encouraging international study, I can't help but think back to my brother's wintertime "advice". Does he really believe THIS place to be the center of diversity, open-mindedness, and a well-rounded education?!
Besides their 9 eccentric degree options (6 of which would never fly in any accredited college) and overly creepy missions of "...teaching students to serve in local churches (The ones on 1st AND 2nd street) for revival, world evangelization, and the discipling of future generations" and "Preparing the next generation of servant-leaders for Great Commission living." ("Great commission"?? Good luck getting one of those with your Northland University Bachelor's degree in Church Ministries.), I think I'm most disturbed by what they consider to be appropriate photos for an "International University" 's website. In a random sampling of all of the photos I could bear to look at, a total of 100% of students were white, blond-haired, awkward-looking 18-21 year olds who look like they just got back from Pray the Gay Away Summer Camp.
That, or an all-day American Eagle shopping spree.


Am I judgmental? Superficial? Mean? Sincerely scared for my brother's future? Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
But I will tell you one thing that I am NOT:

EVER visiting Dunbar.